Denying Your Child Wisely

I went to a ladies bible study today and I thought I would share what I have learned.

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself or be a cast away?" Luke 9:23-25

The host began by reading a quote from someone from the 1800s. This is not word for word, but here it goes..."At no other time in history have american children been given so many gifts without earning them and in such excess that they receive more on one birthday than their grandparents received in their whole lives." I just chuckle to myself as I think of all the Paul Family scenarios that played out in my mind as she said that. "Mom, can I have this and this and this for Christmas?" "Oh, Mom, but it's only a dollar, can I have it?" These things are said constantly to me when I am out with the children, that I have to explain in advance and fine detail, that when we are at the store we are not there to buy anything for them except food. They are kids and they are going to think of themselves. I am an adult and I still tend to be rather selfish, so, how typical for our kids not to be so brushed up on the denial of themselves without the proper training to do so.

The host also went around the room asking us what we have denied ourselves this week for Christ or for others. What have we sacrificed? How have we taken up our cross of self-denial? Boy, I was groping for an answer as she asked these questions. I was knee-deep in my own conviction. How often, in just the past week, had I given myself the best and gave someone else my leftovers. How often had I given God my leftover time and consideration in this past week.

One example would be that my husband is trying to renovate my sons' bedroom and he wanted to buy some really nice Ralph Lauren paint for their room. I just thought, goodness, that's (the price tag) is a bit much for some paint for the boys' room. I told him that I didn't think we had the money this week for such an expense, but yet I managed to buy a few things I like this week. What I bought was only a few dollars and not near the price of the paint, but I was still thinking of myself rather than thinking of the money that could have been put toward the paint. And surely, if I think hard enough there are so many areas in my life where my cross is not being taken up.

The point is that if we are ever going to learn to deny our child wisely in this life, we better be ready to live it out in our own lives as parents to the best of our ability...openly giving your best to God and others at the expense of giving yourself second best or being in last place...living simply so that you can give more. Self-denial is tough, but God never asked us to do something authentically in our heart without giving us the gift of peace and a good feeling for doing what was right. Ultimately, our love for our Heavenly Father is the reason for our selflessness. What a wonderful motivation to fuel our entire lives and what an example to our children!